MY NAME WAS RICKY
I got quite the surprise yesterday morning. Here I was, having a pleasant visit with my 86 year old mother. Just sitting on the couch, chilling, chatting and relaxing. Then all of a sudden ... BAM! I got this piercing pain in my lower left abdomen. It felt like a bad cramp. A REALLY BAD cramp. I winced in pain, trying not to show too much as I didn't want to get my mom all concerned. She has enough issues of hers alone to deal with. I got up and walked around a bit to try to "walk it off" and hope that it would pass. It felt a little better so I went to the basement to get her boxes that she used for her Christmas decorations and bring them upstairs for her. It was only two trips but BAM!, the pain came back with a vengeance. By now my mom knew someone was wrong and I told her that I just had a pain in my side and that it would probably go away. I told her that I was going home and we said our goodbyes and I started on the short walk home.
I live about a block and a half from my mom, so it was a short walk in the winter cold and the pain would not subside. As soon as I got in the door I went to my computer and Googled "pain in lower left abdomen". The first few results came back with "kidney stone". I thought "what the fuck? Where the hell did I get a kidney stone?" I got up and started pacing hoping to walk it off. But, it didn't help. I started to think I might have to make a trip to the local ER and I certainly didn't want to wait at least 3 hours in the waiting room there. As an FYI, we might have universal health care, but the waiting times in our local hospitals are ridiculous.
And then I had what I thought was a great idea. If it really is a kidney stone perhaps I could flush it out. I drank a half litre of water and the pain felt a little better. After my second half litre it all but disappeared. I thought it was a miracle. And then it occurred to me that if I am really flushing it out, it's gonna have to find it's way out. I've heard passing a kidney stone could be very painful, the prospect of that started to concern me. Then, I had to pee. Lot's of pee but no stone. I continued to drink water and about 10 minutes later I had to pee again. I started to pee and, if you'll excuse me, amidst the stream, a black object came out and fell to the bottom of the toilet. I hadn't felt anything so at first I thought that if was some fluff that fell off of my clothing. But, then I thought, fluff would float. This went directly to the bottom of the toilet. I had to find out for sure. So I held my breath (don't know why) and reached in the toilet and retrieved the little black object. Sure enough, it was hard as a rock. Ureka! I passed my first ever kidney stone and the pain had pretty much gone away. I washed up and went up stairs and proudly showed it to Josh. He was grossed out for some reason.
But I was pretty proud of myself that I was able to get rid of this and not make a trip to the hospital. Lord knows what they would have done to me there. I'm keeping this puppy. Maybe I can turn it into a necklace or something. Any thoughts?
My name is Gary Janssen, aka "Ricky". I'm a husband, father and first time blogger. I write about family & life, my favorite sports teams, TV shows and movies, my Apple Mac and my home town of Niagara Falls.